Author'snotes and a warning:
Beforewe begin, I'd like to make something clear. This is a story for grownups. It's been rated 'M' on the website from the day I first postedit, and that's not an accident. Read the ratings folks.
I'mwriting more for parents that have to put up with the Anime becauseof their children and more mature readers who understand that evenwhat is largely considered children's entertainment in Japan iscapable of cussing, somewhat brutal violence, and dirty jokes. Thisis a parody story. Children or more conservative fans who buy the USShonen Jump or watch it on American television may be in for a bit ofa jarring experience.
Thisstory is based off the original Manga. Not the 'kid safe' overcensored Americanized version those familiar with the show from UStelevision might be thinking of. Nothing in the story goes out of theboundaries of the type of humor or violence presented in the originalmanga, but it might be a bit more than someone who's only beenexposed to the US version is expecting.
Thedirty jokes, cussing, nudity [implied, as there's no pictures].sexual innuendo, and violence of the original uncensored Japaneseversion of the series is all intact here. While never pornographic,this is 'PG-13' material, bordering on 'R'. It even goes a bitfurther on the innuendo side of things.
Jiraiyais a pervert, the characters are a little foul mouthed, and fanservice and sexual innuendo is not held back.
Season: Winter 2007 Type: TV Episodes: 500 Censor: Uncensored. Keywords: nonton naruto: shippuuden, naruto: shippuuden subtitle. Naruto Shippuden Episode 458. Download Naruto Shippuden 458. Naruto Shippuden Episode 458 ini Berjudul: Kebenaran. Bercerita tentang episode terakhir Arc Itachi Shindenhen di mana bangkitnya Sharingan milik Sasuke dan sebagian besar adegan sudah masuk ke medan Perang Dunia Shinobi ke 4 dan munculnya Kaguya.
Thereal Naruto does not say 'Believe it!' and characters are more thancapable of using words like 'damn', 'shit', and the occasional'F-bomb'. Nudity and jokes about perversion and sex are quite common.Japan is a great deal more liberal about these things than the US is,even in what they consider children's entertainment. That's just howShonen manga rolls, and always has.
Justask a Dragonball fan about what a 'Puff Puff' is and you'll discoverwhat I mean.
Youhave been warned...
Kyubed:Shinobi's Revenge on Naruto.
ANaruto fanfic by Carrotglace.
Part1 Naruto vs. Ninja.
OooOOooOO
Longago, and far away, two ninja sat together on a tree branch. They weredressed in black clothes, with black hoods, and all of their weaponswere made of black metal that didn't shine. They were both ratherlost.
Momentsbefore, they had killed an evil wizard, and tried to steal a magicalartifact from him. Unfortunately for them, the assassination wentperfectly, the theft did not.
Thetaller of the two turned his eyes towards his partner. 'Well, atleast no one will remember us. A fine end for a Shinobi, I suppose.'Both men knew they were very far from home. Forest with trees of thenumber and size they were seeing didn't exist anywhere on theirworld. The pair had seen most of it. They were still young, but hadseen much in their short seven years of service as fully trainedprofessionals. They were the best in their trade in generations, andhad a reputation for excellence, at a price according to the few whohad known them.
'Youknow Ryu, you're right. Any idea where we are?' The other was onlya little shorter than his friend.
Theman closed his eyes. 'Hmmm. Nope. There are people here. Asettlement, that way.' He nodded to the east.
'Nohurry to meet them, Ken. We've got time. I don't expect we'll begoing back?' His voice wavered a little.
'Isuppose not. That stupid mirror didn't come with us. I'm not surewe're dealing with people.' His head turned. 'Well, I guess thatanswers that.' Someone dressed in bright orange was moving about onthe forest floor below. He looked about ten or so, with very blondand spiky hair.
Hispartner nodded. 'Right.'
Theyjumped off the branches, and bounded their way down to the tinyorange and yellow spot far below them.
OooOOooOO
NarutoUzumaki froze, he was training, out on his own not far from thevillage. Two men appeared on either side of him out of nowhere. Oneof them spoke up.
'You'rea bit small to be wandering out on your own this far. Who is withyou?' The taller one was looking about with his arms crossed infront of him. The other was behind him, they'd come out of nowhere,and just appeared from outside his field of vision and caught him offguard.
Thekid growled, the jerks didn't know what they were messing with.'What's it to you? What do you want?! What are you doing out here!Tell me!'
Theshorter one gave a distasteful snort. 'Is that what passes formanners around here? Why are you dressed like that? Are you huntingor something?'
Narutogrowled. 'I'm a ninja you jerks!'
Thepair burst into laughter. After a moment they were gasping for breathand wiping tears from their eyes.
Theblond kid growled. 'Hey! It's true, one day, I'm gonna becomeHokage!'
Itonly made the men laugh harder. They were bent over and slappingtheir knees, howling with laughter.
'Stop!You're killing us!' The shorter one was doubled over and had a bitof trouble saying it through his laughter.
'Grrr.Look, are you going to attack me or what?!' The boy looked steamed.
Theadults calmed and the taller one slapped his knee. 'A ninja hesays!'
'It'sgreat! Wow!' Ken was still fighting off his chuckles.
Ryulooked confused. 'I think he wants us to attack him.'
'What?Why?' Ken shrugged and scratched his head.
Theother shinobi nodded. 'Well, I suppose we did surprise him.'
'Hey!I'm gonna! Believe it!' The kid stuck his tongue out.
Ryulooked at his friend. 'Look, maybe he's retarded?'
Kennodded and looked thoughtful. 'Yes, most unfortunate. It wouldexplain why he's shouting wouldn't it? The orange jumpsuit too.'
'Hmmm,yes. A ninja, dressed like that? How silly.' The pair looked at theboy.
Narutohad his jaw hanging. 'You jerks! I am not retarded!'
Ryushrugged. 'Then why are you dressed like that if you're a ninja? Isit some sort of uniform, to help you infiltrate the enemy's base?'The man seemed to think the kid was playing some sort of game.
'Man,this is so weird.' The kid gave a sigh. 'Look. What's wrong withmy clothes?'
Themen crossed their arms and looked at each other. Ken spoke up. 'Well,we're real ninja. Look, black hoods, black clothes, sandals, swords,the whole deal. It's kind of hard to hide in the shadows dressed as acrossing guard kid. You need to cover that hair of yours up too. Youstick out like a sore thumb.'
Narutowas confused. 'So what are you doing here then?'
Kenshrugged. 'Actually, we're just sort of here. I suppose we're forhire. We're new to the area, don't worry, you won't be seeing usaround.'
Theyoung ninja frowned at them. He had gone silent. 'What do youwant?'
Ryuchuckled. 'Just to have a chat with one of the locals. We weren'teven sure if we spoke the same language to be honest.'
'Yeah?Well get lost then. I know if I work hard enough, I'll become a trueninja and become Hokage!' The boy frowned at them.
Thepair of older shinobi looked at each other. Ken scrunched hiseyebrows. 'What's a 'Hokage'?'
Ryushrugged. 'I'm not sure. Some kind of ninja apparently.'
Kenwhispered to his partner. 'Let's have a bit of fun then. Learn thelay of the land.'
Ryunodded and seemed to understand. 'We'll learn the lay of the land,and in return...'
Kenchuckled. 'Pure entertainment.'
Narutowas huffing away grumbling to himself. 'Black? What? That'sstupid!' He looked up and saw them both leaning on trees ahead ofhim.
'Hey,kid. You really want to be a real ninja?' Ken pushed himself offhis tree.
'Wecan train you, but it's gonna take total commitment. If you agree,you've got to go through with it. No backing down. It's real hardtoo, harder than you think.' Ryu nodded and looked up the road.'It's gonna really hurt, in lots of different ways, but you'lllive.'
'Youseem like a tough kid. I kind of like you.' Ken leaned in towardsthe uncomfortable looking boy.
'Howdo I know...' They were both just gone all of a sudden. He closedhis eyes, feeling for them, reaching out to find their Chakra. He'dnever pulled it off before, but it was worth a shot in his mind.
'Hey.Why are his eyes closed?' Ken's voice piped up.
Narutowas on his rear, gasping for breath. 'Wha? How did?'
Ryusnorted in amusement as the boy looked between them in surprise. Theywere right back where they were before they'd vanished, in the samepositions. 'Well? I suppose we could use a student.'
Theboy took a few steps back. 'Why would you want to train me?'
Themen shrugged and replied in unison. 'We've got nothing better to doright now.'
Kennodded and looked the boy in the eye. 'Plus. We don't really knowmuch about this place. It's a long story.'
Theboy looked up at the sky. 'I've got time.'
OooOOooOO
Narutowas grinning at the pair. 'Wow! That's so cool! Some sort of magicmirror?' He had spent the better part of an hour listening to theirfinal mission for their former government.
Kenlooked annoyed, Ryu had done most of the story telling. 'Yeah.Cool.'
Ryushrugged. 'Neither one of us had a family. It's not so bad. A freshstart.'
Narutoseemed saddened for a moment. 'Yeah. No family.'
Thetwo ninja slapped his shoulders. Ryu looked down at him. 'It's adeal then? We'll teach you how to be a Shinobi, and you teach us howstuff works around here.'
Keyshook the boy's shoulder. 'It seems we've found a kindred spirit.Something tells me you don't have much to miss at home either.'
'Iguess. I'll show you to the village.' The boy shrugged and nodded.He didn't really trust them, but he was starting to like them a bit.They seemed very cheerful.
Kenshook his head. 'No. No need. We don't like other people much. Youdo understand that the entire point of the Shinobi arts is not beingseen right? You know, silence, stealth, spying, assassination, theft,and espionage. That's kind of what it is. The best ninja is the onewho only his master and those he needs to work with even know heexists. We are not to be seen, only felt, and no evidence of ourpassing can be left. Unless it's part of your instructions. Sometimesthey want you to leave a note or steal something. Not often though.'
Theboy whipped his head to stare at the man. 'What?'
Ryulooked down at the boy, neither one of them had removed their hoods.'If you train with us, and work hard, you will be invisible. Come,let's see how well you do.'
Kenwas quite pleased. The boy appeared to be a total sap. He believedtheir story, even if it was true, it was still rather thick of him inhis opinion. It would be an absolute gas!
Theboy looked pensive, but he was still young. 'I'm not so sure Ishould. I think I could get in trouble for this.'
Ryuslapped his shoulder and looked at his friend. They needed someonewho could tell them a bit about where they were. 'Well, what theydon't know won't hurt them. It's secret training after all, not veryuseful if you tell everyone. What good is being invisible if everyoneelse is too?' He was looking to curb future boredom with the boy,but they needed to learn as much as they could about their newsurroundings. 'This training is just for you, just between us. Youlook like the type who might enjoy getting into a bit of trouble forsome fun sometimes.'
Kennodded at his partner in a serious manner. He knew what he was doing.They were going to have to find this village, scout it out, andinfiltrate it to learn as much as they could about where they'd foundthemselves. He didn't think it was just another country, they werevery far from home, and wouldn't see it again. He wasn't all thatupset, as it was sort of expected. Very few of his kind survived toretire, and they weren't very useful at home most of the timeanymore. The boy had become suspicious if questioned directly,gaining his trust through training would help get him to open upabout where they were. 'Lucky break, finding this one.'
Narutoseemed annoyed. 'I don't even know you guys. How do I know you'rereally from another dimension, and that you're not trying to trick meinto some sort of plot against the village?'
Kenand Ryu looked at each other. Ryu shrugged his shoulders and cockedhis head a little. 'Well, there are only two of us. How much damagedo you think two people can cause?'
Theboy looked somber. 'Quite a bit.'
'Yes.It will be fun though.' Ryu nodded and grinned.
'Ido hope you enjoy getting into a little trouble. We're good at that.'Ken was just as cheerful about the subject.
Ryulooked over at his friend. 'Do you think they did it to us onpurpose?'
Kenblinked and worked his mouth. 'Well, maybe we did go a bit far.'
Theboy was annoyed and confused. 'What are you talking about?'
Kenlooked down at him and sighed. 'It's pretty peaceful where we comefrom. I mean, there's the occasional decent job, but...we get...kindof bored.'
Ryugot a wistful grin on his face. 'Yeah. We replaced the Shogun'sdaughter's tea stores with dried pot.'
Kenshook his head. 'That went rather well. She married the next day. Ikind of feel sorry for the guy. She was fun after she drank it,otherwise...' He shuddered. 'I'm thinking it was when we cut outthe soles of that visiting Dynamo's shoes and replaced them withthose dried turd molds we made.'
Thetaller shinobi nodded. 'Perhaps. That was a good one by the way.They were fine indoors, but the moment he went outside and stepped inthat puddle...classic.'
Theshorter one chuckled. 'Ah. I am going to miss it I suppose. It's agood thing we're so good at disappearing. They never could prove itwas us.'
Narutowas looking a bit dazed. 'So...um...what is it you're supposed tobe teaching me?'
Ryuruffled his hair, it annoyed the boy, and made him chuckle. 'How toget in trouble, and not get caught of course.'
Kennodded. 'Yeah. It's a real bitch to learn, but once you've got it,it's loads of fun.'
Hispartner nodded. 'Pretty much. Thing is, once you start, you can'tstop. We won't let you, so if you agree, you're stuck with us untilwe decide we're through with you.'
Theboy scratched his head. 'Huh? Okay. I guess.'
Kenextended his hand. 'It's agreed then?'
Narutoseemed to mull on it and looked at the man's hand. It would be niceto be able to get out of trouble. People liked to blame things onhim, and it wasn't fair. It wasn't his fault. 'Do I have to comeout here and meet you every night or something?'
Thepair looked at each other. Ryu nodded. 'There's a bit of thatinvolved, but you'll be seeing us about more and more.'
Kenwas quite cheerful as he agreed. 'Yeah. We're your new invisiblefriends.'
Theboy looked surprised. 'Friends?'
Ryucoughed and looked at his friend. 'Well, we are training you. Welike you, but we're in charge I'm afraid. You've got to do whateverwe say. Don't worry, you won't always like it, but we'll look afteryou.'
Narutogave them another stare down with his arms crossed. He'd decided hedidn't trust either one of them, but he liked them anyway. It wasodd, but he felt very much alone. He grasped the man's hand. 'Deal!'
Kennodded and winced at the boy's loud shout. He leaned in and shook hisshoulder. 'Good. Now, lesson one, stop shouting. It calls attentionto you, but not of a good sort.'
Theboy looked surprised. 'Huh?'
Ryugave a grave nod. 'Yes. It is very important you learn to speaksilently. If you cannot, we will be forced to cut out your tongue.'
Kennodded. 'Yeah. Kanzaki was a great Shinobi, despite his handicap.He really should have listened to Master Koto though.'
Narutolooked worried. 'Um. Right.' He squeaked it out. 'What are yougonna do to me anyway?'
'We'llfind interesting situations to put you into. Plus, we'll show you theropes and teach you a few tricks of the trade when you meet with us.We'll give you advice, though it might not always be good, in orderto get you to learn something.' Ryu shrugged. 'We're not alwayshonest, but we'll get you trained. Even we have some honor. Wepromised to look after you while you are training.'
Kenlooked down and ruffled his hair. The boy flushed, he wasn't used tothat sort of thing and shied away a little. 'Why do you want tobecome Hokage?'
'Sopeople will notice me, and acknowledge me. I'll become a true hero,and become Hokage, then everyone will know and respect me!' He gotvery excited and posed with his thumb up.
Ryuand Ken stopped, held his shoulders and spoke at the same time. 'Thenyou can't be a ninja.'
Ryushook his head and sighed. 'If that's what you want, you need to bea Samurai. What you desire, is not the path of a true ninja. To bethe greatest ninja, no one can remember you, save those who standwith you.'
Kengave a grave nod. 'You must become invisible, untraceable, nonexistent. We are not to stand out and face our enemies openly. It isnot the path of the ninja. If you find what you seek in this line ofwork, you're not doing it right. Hokage is a fine aim, a noble goal.Those are things for Samurai, not Shinobi. We have our own way, ourown honor.'
Hispartner gave a more cheerful nod. 'Yes, but it's also much morefun. We don't have to worry about purity, or honesty, or face to facedumb ass fair fights. We're much more laid back, just don't go crazyand start hurting innocent people, and you'll pretty much be fine. Weare about precision, speed, silence, and stealth. We are meant tomove quickly, and not be noticed, that usually means not lingeringabout with others much. We don't kill for fun, or pleasure, though itcan be a bit satisfying to get rid of the right sort of person.'
Theother shinobi shrugged. 'That's not to say you can't want to beHokage someday. I suppose it's not impossible, but we wouldn't knowmuch about that. You seem to believe it, there's nothing wrong withthat, but to become a true ninja, you might be forced to give up thatdream. It is best to be ready to face that fate.' Ken smirked.'Last chance to back out kid.'
Hispartner gave a serious nod. 'Yes, someone looking for personalglory, or personal revenge, can be more dangerous than the enemy. Thelife of a Shinobi is a life of service, not glory, and there is noroom for revenge or personal feelings in it. Let the Samurai havetheir honor, I prefer duty. Those who seek personal ambition, cannotbe trusted with duty. Sooner or later, their ambition will stand inthe way, and such a man will become unreliable.'
Ryuchuckled. 'Yes, though, it is kind of nice to take a break fromthat I suppose. We're not really serving anyone now.'
Narutohung his head and gave a heavy sigh. 'You guys are weird, but Ilike you for some reason. I guess I'll train with you.' His eyeswere rather wide and he looked like he'd had a sort of horriblerealization.
Kenshook his head. 'Don't look so down kid. You're not so bad off.What's your name?'
'UzumakiNaruto.' The boy gave a sort of dazed nod.
'I'mMaster Ken, and this is Master Ryu. Look, being Hokage is a fine aim.Your duty may one day prevent it, but it might not. You aren't goingto be much good if you're more worried about that than you are aboutwhat you are doing. Have your dream, but remember it may just be adream. Duty comes before ambition for a Shinobi. That doesn't mean wecan't have a bit of fun sometimes though, it's not so bad. Justremember, you've got to make up for it later when they need you. Itwill help keep your mind and skills sharp, but it will also upsetpeople sometimes, so you've got to learn how to not get caught.'
Naruto'seyes lit up a little. 'Like pranks and stuff? As training?'
Ryunodded. 'We can teach you, and in return, you teach us about thisplace we've found ourselves in. We're not from this world, and I'lltell you now, you won't learn what we can teach you from anyone here.I guarantee it.'
Thatsealed the deal in the boy's mind. 'Right! I can do it!'
Kenput his hand on his shoulder. 'Don't forget lesson one. Not justwith us either, it's annoying, and you should just stop doing it.Remember we will honor our end of this deal. You will be trained, byany means necessary. Now, this is our duty.'
Ryulooked a bit surprised, but nodded in a serious manner. 'Very well.Putting all our chips on this one are we?'
Theboy looked up at him with a frown on his face and nodded. 'I willlearn.'
OooOOooOO
Twoyears later...
Ryuand Ken were just outside the ninja village. They had discovered theplace they had found themselves in was very close to Japan. Even thefood was good. They were looking out across the village withtelescopes hidden in the rocks on the nearby mountain.
Kensnorted through his nose. 'Ninja village indeed. I'm telling youthey aren't Shinobi. They just...sort of act like Shinobi most of thetime.'
'Ihave to agree.' Ryu nodded and seemed less concerned with thesubject. 'Really. Tossing about fireballs, making explosions,burning enough chi to turn yourself into a beacon, screaming, facingyour enemies, being honest. It's kind of annoying isn't it?'
Hispartner nodded. 'Yeah. Whoa! There she is! There she is!' Hebecame excited and went quiet.
Ryucouldn't spot what he was looking at. 'What? What is it?'
'It'sthat hot babe in the fishnet shirt and coat. Man this place isawesome!'
'You'dthink with all these plants they'd be able to make more fabric.'
Kensighed. 'Man. I'm gonna figure that one out. She puts out too, seenher with a couple guys in the village.'
Ryunodded. 'Did she just swallow three octopus balls whole and tossthe stick away?'
Hispartner was fixated on her rear. 'Yup. I think I'm in love.'
Thetaller shinobi chuckled. 'Three at once? She's going to be a biggirl when she's older.'
Kenshook his head. 'Are you kidding me? There are no fat chicks here.It's amazing. The girls are all cute, and the women...'
Ryugave a small sigh as he looked about at the people on the street.'It's like being stuck in an episode of Dragonball. You're right.Are we sure this isn't some sort of odd resort?'
'Imight if they weren't still burning wood fires for heat, and huntingand gathering these woods. There are cities about here, but theydon't trade openly with them here. They don't seem to want theoutside world to notice them. Do I look any hotter to you? Maybe it'ssomething in the water?'
'You'rean asshole, you know that right?'
Hispartner nodded. 'Yes. Now I am an asshole with a mission. I'm gonnaget me some of that. Might take a while, but I'm gonna do it.'
Ryuslapped his shoulder. 'Hey. It's the kid. Let's pay him a visit.'
OooOOooOO
NarutoUzumaki stood alone with his hands in his pockets. He was dressed inblack, and standing in the shade of a tree. He didn't feel like beingaround other people at the moment. He had a black scarf around hisneck and a hood hiding his hair.
Everyonehated him, blamed him when something went wrong if he was nearby.He'd learned to get out of sight if something happened while he wasaround. His curse made a lot of people in the village avoid him. Mostof the other kids would talk to him, but he could tell they were justputting up with him. A few tried to bully him, but his two invisiblefriends had helped make getting away much easier. It was rare for himto even have to throw a punch to avoid his tormentors. He'd developeda reputation in his age group as something of a coward because of it.Uzumaki Naruto, the crazy chicken. No one else seemed to reallynotice him.
He'dgrown to regret the deal he made with the two men in some ways. Theylet the school take care of training his body. They'd both expresseda bit of surprise in how fit was. He still couldn't use his Chakramore than a little. Nothing useful at any rate. As usual, two voicescame out of nowhere when he was alone.
'Heykid.'
'How'sit going?'
Heclosed his eyes and growled. He knew they were nearby, but trying tosee them had proven fruitless in the past. 'What do you want?'
Ken'sfamiliar chuckle. 'We've got a job for you.'
Narutogrowled. If he didn't, things would just start going wrong aroundhim. They hadn't done anything for his image. He'd gotten so mad atthem, he'd told the Hokage about them to try and explain why he'dfilled the water fountain outside his house with noodles. He'd gottena more severe punishment, and now everyone thought he had twoimaginary friends. 'Great, now what?' No one but him knew theyexisted, but they could make quite a mess if he didn't do what theywanted.
'Wewant two pairs of Anko Mitirashi's panties.'
'Bringthem to the edge of the village tonight. We'll be watching.'
Theboy went rigid. 'No way!'
Ryuclucked his tongue. 'Do it, or else...'
Narutowas sweating bullets. 'She... she'll kill me!'
Kenspoke up. 'Yeah, if she catches you. Think of it as a test. You'llbe moving up in your training soon. Getting a new instructor and allin a month or two.'
OooOOooOO
Itwas the middle of the night, Naruto was sweating bullets, not sayinga word, and wishing what was going on around him wasn't going on.Miss Anko was making a lot of noise, and not as asleep as he'dthought, nor was the guy he didn't give a spit about outside of notbeing seen.
Thepair was doing something under a sheet about three feet away fromhim. The only light was the moon from the window, leaving him intotal darkness. He managed to open the draw far enough to reach ingrabbed a handful, and shoved the contents into his shirt. He lookedover his shoulder, smirked, and continued to take them from thedrawer, stuffing his sleeves and chest with as much as he could grab.
Thewoman hadn't even poked her head out of the sheets, nor did the manshe was with. He slipped away in silence, and left them alone.
OooOOooOO
'Well,we did say only two.' Ken looked at his partner. Both of them werewearing a pair of panties on their heads. Ken sniffed at two handfulls. They were also both wearing bras over their chests.
'Hmm.Indeed. It was a wise decision though. He's to be commended this timeI suppose. Still, in the future, follow our instructions.' Ryucrossed his arms and tried to look very wise.
'Yeah.Well, what good is getting into trouble and getting away with it if Ican't do it for me sometimes?' He wasn't sure what had come overhim, but it had given him a heck of a rush.
Kenheld one of them out. 'Would you like one? I suppose we can't enjoyall of them.'
Narutowaved his hands and shook his head. 'No way! What am I supposed todo with that? You guys are weird.'
Ryushrugged. 'Well, you'll understand in a couple of years or so.'
Theboy turned away. 'We're done right?'
Kenheld one of them in front of his face. 'Are you sure? A memento ofpassing your first test?'
'Andget caught with the evidence later? She's gonna blow her top. I don'twant anything that ties me to that mess.' Naruto waved his handsand jogged back towards the village.
Kenand Ryu had panties over their pants by that point as well.
Ryulooked at his friend. 'He's a good kid.'
'Comeon. We've still got a bit of that deer meat left.'
Theyboth vanished into the shadows.
OooOOooOO
'Wefound it this morning sir, and this one covered in paint.'
TheHokage gave a heavy sigh as he looked up at the vandalized faces onthe mountain. 'Release Uchiha. He isn't the culprit, just adistraction.'
Sasukehad a frown on his face and jerked his arm free of the man who hadbrought him to the Hokage's side. The man released him with asurprised expression on his face. 'Sir?'
'Releasehim. He isn't to blame for this, just a convenient distraction.'The old man tipped his hat up and puffed on his pipe. He looked alittle annoyed.
Theyoung shinobi stiffened up. 'With all due respect, he's covered inpaint, and there was no one else about. He even had a brush.'
Theboy hung his head, he was angry and embarrassed. 'I woke up coveredin paint with that brush on my chest in an alley near the path to themountain.'
Theold man chuckled. 'It seems our invisible prankster or prankstershas struck again. That paint looks like it was poured on him.' Helooked down at the rather miserable looking boy. 'Uchiha. Drop yourpants.'
Theboy's eyes went wide. 'What?' He grabbed for his belt in aprotective way and stepped back.
Theold man leaned in. 'There is only the two of us here, and it willclear your name. You weren't intended to take the blame, just toprovide a distraction for our culprit.'
Theboy nodded, turned about and dropped his shorts enough to expose hisrear.
TheHokage pointed. 'He's got no paint on his rear. It wasn't him. It'squite obvious those marks on the statues lips were made when ourmysterious vandal painted his rear and pressed them on the mountain.Sasuke Uchiha is innocent of wrongdoing. I'm sure I'll be getting anearful of this later.' The old man hung his head and rubbed at hischin as he puffed on his pipe. A huge smiley face was drawn onto themountainside and a poem. 'Laugh and the world laughs with you,fart, and you stand alone.'
Therewas a sudden loud rumbling, loud enough to echo off the mountainacross the valley. Then, a petering hissing sound.
Theold man sniffed at the air and wrinkled his nose. 'Wha?' It wasawful, a horrid pungent, yet familiar odor.
Sasukewas holding his neck and gagging. 'Oh!' He was looking at the oldman with wide and horrified eyes.
Theadult shinobi was waving his hand in front of his face. 'Um, sir?'
Sasukewas staggering back and trying to fight off the overwhelming stench.'I had no idea the Hokage was so...powerful!'
Theold man growled and turned to face them. 'It wasn't me you idiots.'
Thetrio looked on as the village started to wander out of their homes.Most looking both confused and disgusted, just a few at first, butthe crowd was growing.
OooOOooOO
'Heresir.'
TheHokage frowned as he glared at the source of the odor that had washedover the entire village. It was a row of powerful fans hidden behindseveral boulders below the faces on the mountain. In front of thesefans was the largest turd pile the old man had ever seen. 'I see.'
Oneof the two uniformed shinobi with him pointed to the power lines thathad led them to the spot. Someone had managed to lay out almost amile's worth of extension chords up to the spot. They were buriedjust under the dirt up to the point where the rocks gave enough coverto run them freely.
'Thereis no evidence?' The old man gave a serious frown.
'Neveris.' The ninja on his left spoke up.
Theold man just smirked. 'I see. Very well, I suppose the worst isover for now. I'll take care of getting the mess cleaned up.'
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'UzumakiNaruto, you will take care of the mountainside.'
Theboy standing in front of the Hokage gave a simple nod and didn'tspeak. He had a rather smug looking smirk on his face as he did it.He was dressed in the black and dark gray clothes he'd taken too, andhad his hood off because his position required it. The old man didn'twant to say anything, but the smirk bothered him a little. The boywas at the bottom of his class, had a poor attendance record, and hadbecome rather quiet in the last two years.
'Doyou know why?' The old man paced in front of him, with his handsbehind his back.
Theboy shrugged. 'You think it was me, but you can't prove it, but youdon't want me to get away with it either?'
Theold man looked surprised, and returned his smirk. 'Yes. That aboutsums it up. I know it was you boy.' He leaned in, took a puff fromhis pipe and blew it in his face. 'You stopped getting into troubleabout the time this started. You used to be loud and obnoxious, overthe past few years, people barely remember you even exist. A suddenchange. I do wonder sometimes about you. Such acts of evil, onlybreed violence.'
'Itdoesn't matter. It's not like I've got much else to be doing. I don'tmind cleaning up the mess too much. It was pretty funny as far as I'mconcerned.' Naruto nodded and grinned at him. It had been more thanworth it to see the look on Sasuke's face. The guy was a total jerk.The hardest part had been getting him out of his house without wakinghim or leaving a drag trail. The chloroform helped with that a greatdeal.
'Well,the whole village is upset. This isn't an isolated incident. A lot ofchildren have been ending up like young Sasuke, with just enoughevidence to make it appear they had a hand in it on them. Leavingothers to take the blame for ones actions is the height of dishonor.'The old man looked angry and sneered at the boy in front of him.
Narutodidn't look worried or upset. 'Well, it's not like they really gotblamed for any of it.' Not always, sometimes he let them off easy.'If this guy knew you'd let them off, there's no real problem isthere?'
TheHokage chuckled and relaxed a little. 'I wonder if he'd stepforward to stop it if I did?'
Theboy shrugged. 'I wouldn't bet on that either.' He cocked his headfor a moment and seemed to listen to nothing before giving a nod andlooking up at the old man. 'Besides, if you did, and knew he wasinnocent, you'd share some of the blame for the injustice.'
TheHokage frowned at him. He'd heard about the boy's invisible friends.Others had seen him talking to nothing when he thought he was alone,and on the edges of the village. He turned his back and a grin formedon his face. 'You'll be taking an exam soon.'
Theboy nodded and clenched his fist. 'This time, I'm gonna pass it.'His voice was even, and his tone just above a whisper.
TheHokage looked over his shoulder at the boy. He'd not heard Naruto'sshout in two years. It had once been considered a trademark that hewas loud and obnoxious. Now, anyone who wasn't old enough to rememberhis origins or spent time around him in classes could even recall hisname. He wasn't often seen outside of school by anyone, but seemed toknow what was going on about the village. 'You're up to somethingboy.'
Narutogave a nod and chuckled. 'Always. I'm gonna pass, and become a trueNinja.'
TheHokage gave a short nod. 'Very well, see your instructor aboutgetting that mess cleaned up. You may go.' When he turned around,and found the boy gone, he wasn't as surprised as he'd once been.'Naruto Uzumaki, what have you been up too?'
Somethingabout Uzumaki got to him. He didn't know what it was, but it feltlike a mixture of hope, pride, irritation, and worry. He had afeeling if he passed, his instructor would have his hands full. Hewould have to be very careful in choosing just who that person was.
Hewas also a cause for worry. He knew what the boy had inside him, andhis invisible friends made him nervous. No one had ever seen them,and there was no evidence they were real, but he wondered if theyjust might be more real than they imagined. The Nine Tailed Fox wasvery real, and very old and clever. He wasn't so sure the Kyubididn't have something to do with his 'friends'.
Hesighed and slumped down behind his desk. 'What am I going to doabout that boy?'
OooOOooOO
Irukafrowned as he realized he could see patch of blond in the classroom.'Uzumaki, how good of you to join us.' He was a young shinobi,with a scar across his nose and a few spikes of hair that poked fromthe tight wrapping on top of his head. He looked out over thestudents in his room and glared at him. 'The graduation exam iscoming up, and you've failed it twice. This isn't the time to becausing problems.'
'Whatdid I do exactly anyway? Hokage just said I've got to clean up themess. There's no proof I did anything.' The boy rubbed his thumbalong his nose and avoided eye contact.
Theinstructor growled. 'That's it. Everyone, Henge no Jutsu test.Everyone transform perfectly into me!'
Therewas a collective groan.
Theclass looked annoyed with Naruto, and voiced it. 'Who is that kid?What's wrong with him? What did he do anyway?'
Irukatook control. 'Don't worry about that. Just get up here and takeyour test when I call your name and stop talking.'
Narutohad a grin on his face and sat back. People were giving him annoyedglances, but he didn't seem to notice. He was seen as rather dullwitted, and cowardly. No one believed he would ever pass the testoutside of the teaching staff, and even a few of them seemedskeptical.
Theystood in a line, everyone was coming close enough to satisfy the maninto passing them. 'Uzumaki Naruto.'
Theboy shambled up and looked about. No one seemed to expect much fromhim. 'Henge...'
Iruka'sjaw dropped as a beautiful naked girl appeared before his class. Sheblew a kiss at him and winked before vanishing. Naruto was standingin her place, with a smirk on his face. He looked up at the man andgrinned.
'Icall it, Sexy no Jutsu.'
'Don'tinvent stupid skills! You moron!' Iruka was livid and red faced.
Narutogave a snort. 'Judging from your reaction, it could be quite deadlyif I use it the right way.'
Irukafroze frowned at the boy. His face became serious and he thoughtabout passing it.
'Ican give the old man a heart attack! Heh!'
'Fail!'
'Nuts.'The boy shuffled off to his seat and remained silent for the rest ofthe class.
OooOOooOO
Cleaningup the monument wasn't as difficult as those who had him do itthought. The paint was already gone, leaving colorful pools ofrainwater in the rocks under the carvings. 'Heh. Lucky break forme, huh?'
Irukafrowned at the boy and knelt down beside the multi colored pools. Thecolor in them swirled and shined. 'What the? Some kind of coloredsoap? I'd heard that Sasuke had paint on him though.' He frownedand looked towards his student. 'Always misleading.' He couldn'tforget Naruto, and took notice of the boy, and his absence. He washard to keep track of, even within the confines of the classroom.There were days in the past he wasn't sure if the boy had attendedclass or not.
Theboy looked up and shrugged. 'I guess. Still, there's nothing toclean up now.'
Theman crossed his arms and smirked. 'Oh, you think not?'
OooOOooOO
Ashort time later Naruto was standing in front of a huge mound ofturds with a shovel in his hand and a wheelbarrow beside him. 'Nuts.'
Irukanodded. 'Yes. Now, we're going to take this pile, and get it downinto the forest where it belongs.'
Theboy muttered under his breath as he started shoveling. 'Yeah, yeah.I got nuthin better ta do.'
Theman looked away as the boy started working. He didn't look pleasedwith his punishment, but was taking it rather well.
OooOOooOO
Irukawas sitting with his student with a bowl of Ramen in front of them.They had stopped after coming back from their little chore. The boyhad taken three loads down the mountain, and raked it all into theforest ground. It would keep the stench from blowing back to thevillage. The fans had been set up to take advantage of the wind.'Naruto, why would you do such a thing? What did Sasuke do to youanyway?'
'Nothing.Once again, you've got nothing on me. Nobody saw me do anything.'He shook his head. 'Why are you so big on this?'
Heleaned in and frowned at him. 'I know it was you now. You've nevercome into class so clean before.'
Hehung his head and nodded as he ate. 'I took a bath. I don't stink,my nose is better than yours. I'm pretty sure. Why the long face?'
'Alwaysan excuse with you. Why can't you give a straight answer kid?'
'I'llgive you some advice. You can't cheat an honest man. Never give asucker an even break, or smarten up a chump.' Naruto shrugged.
'What?'Iruka was confused. 'Well, I guess that's not terrible advice.Still. You're not what I expected Uzumaki, but I'm not giving you abreak on this test.'
'Right.Thanks for the Ramen. See you tomorrow.' Iruka glanced over andnoticed Naruto's seat was empty. He looked over his shoulder andfrowned as he narrowed his eyes. Uzumaki had vanished, and he wasn'tthat surprised. 'I wonder if he really knew how right he was aboutthat technique of his?'
OooOOooOO
Narutohung his head and squeezed his eyes shut as Iruka explained that thetest was 'Bunshin no Jutsu', his worst skill.
Hegot up at his turn, frowned at the instructor, and tried thetechnique. A clone of himself appeared, and crumpled to the ground.'Damn.'
'Fail.'
Theother instructor in the room overseeing the test spoke up. Mr. Mizukiwas a much more cheerful looking man. 'We could let him pass. Thiswas his third time, and he did create a clone.'
Theboy looked over at the man, but his face fell just as fast.
'Noway Mizuki. All the others created two clones, and he only made oneuseless one. He fails.' Iruka looked firm about his decision, butnot angry.
OooOOooOO
'NarutoUzumaki.' Mizuki smiled at the boy he found watching thecelebrating graduates.
'MizukiSensei.' The boy looked a little somber, and didn't seem to caremuch about his surroundings.
OooOOooOO
'Whatdid he tell you?' Ryu's voice spoke to Naruto from the shadows ashe walked home. The sun was setting, and both of his friends werehidden nearby.
Theboy glanced about, not able to spot them. 'Well, he told me therewas this scroll that can show me how to do what I need to learn topass my exam easy. It's in the Hokage's house though, and there'sonly one.'
Kensnorted. 'Typical. Look, we don't trust him, and you shouldn'teither.'
Ryuagreed. 'He's up to something. If you think you should, do it.Don't let him find you with that scroll, and put it back when you'redone.'
OooOOooOO
Narutolooked about the shadows with a thin, but long rolled up page pokingfrom his back. The Hokage was home, and he had something to find.Mizuki had told him about a way that Iruka would be forced to passhim. Well, he was supposed to think that according to his twofriends. He was going to check it out, but didn't fully trust what hewas doing was for just his benefit.
Hehad something to do first. He noticed the light under the door besidehim and smirked. He took the rolled up page from his back and put itup on the wall opposite the door. It was hard to hold himselftogether and keep from chuckling as he glued it into place. Without asound, he finished his job and vanished.
OooOOooOO
Ashort time later, Naruto was sitting and looking at the over sizedscroll in the woods surrounding the village, a fair distance awayfrom it. 'Hey. It starts with what I want. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.Neat.'
OooOOooOO
TheHokage walked out of his toilet feeling refreshed and ready for bed.He had a peaceful looking grin on his face as he opened his door,only to be confronted by a huge poster of a beautiful young buxomgirl in the nude blowing him a kiss. His eyes went wide, blood shotout of his nose, and he fell flat on his back. On either side of thegirl was writing.
'Bewarethe Power!'
OooOOooOO
Mizukigasped for breath as he leaned against Iruka's door. 'I saw Narutoleaving the village! He stole The Scroll of the Forbidden Seal as aprank!'
Theman looked shocked. 'What?'
'Wemust warn the Hokage!' He rushed off with a growing group of rousedShinobi.
Mizukichuckled as he fell back. 'I'll spread the word a little more, getrid of Naruto, and take the scroll for myself. He's been gone most ofthe night with it already. It should be easy.'
OooOOooOO
Narutowas beaten and tired, he gasped for breath and popped his shoulders.His head lifted as he realized he could hear movement in the woods.He frowned and looked about. Mizuki had told him about a spot in thewoods, and he'd gone the wrong direction. 'Time to get back.'
Ryuappeared behind him. 'Indeed. We've been following your new friend.It seems he wants to kill you, and take that thing for himself.You've learned what you need?'
Theboy nodded. 'I can do it, no problem.'
Theshinobi looked over his shoulder. 'We'll take the scroll back. Whydon't you go and meet your friend. Oh, by the way. We've got a giftfor you.'
Kenappeared at his other side and handed him a straight edged Katana.'Careful, it's sharp.'
Narutolooked wary. 'I think this thing is important enough to get me in alot of trouble if you screw around with it.'
Ryubacked off and nodded. 'Oh. Well, it's time to put it back. You'vegot what you need, and the whole village is hot on it being missing.Your friend Mizuki stabbed you in the back and has them all workedup.'
Theboy nodded and clutched the scroll to his chest. He jumped off intothe darkness.
OooOOooOO
UzumakiNaruto smirked as he waited and watched. The first person whoappeared in the clearing was Iruka. He was looking about and lookedboth frustrated and worried. What the older ninja didn't notice, butthe boy could see, was that he had a shadow.
Mizukiwas above and behind him, with two over sized shuriken on his back.
Theboy stayed hidden and waited for them to move past the clearing. Hedashed away behind them.
Irukalooked into the shadows and saw a flash of blond hair for a briefmoment. 'What? Naruto?' He went off after it, veering off andconfusing Mizuki for a moment. He was about to move off after him.
Theboy appeared at his side. 'Hey. I've got what I want. You wantsomething from this scroll too right?' He pointed over his shoulderat the over sized parchment.
Mizukialmost jumped out of his skin and froze as the boy hopped backtowards the clearing. He jumped down to the center and frowned as henoticed the boy leaning on it and looking quite casual. 'Give methe scroll.' He looked quite serious and not very cheerful as hesaid it in a firm tone.
Theyoung cadet frowned and snorted. 'Sure. What the heck do you wantwith it anyway?'
Theman got a wicked smirk on his face. 'Well, there's no point inlying, seeing as you seem to be willing to just hand it off. It'sfull of forbidden and dangerous ninjutsu'
Theboy shrugged and kicked it across the grass to the man. Mizuki pickedit up, slapped it in his palm, and got an unpleasant grin on hisface. 'You know about how twelve years ago they sealed up the DemonFox?'
Narutolooked confused, and a bit of his attitude faded. 'Huh?'
Theolder shinobi gave him a dark looking grin and looked him in theeyes. 'Since that day a special rule was made, but it was nevermeant to be told to you.'
Theboy looked shocked. 'What? What is this rule?' His face becameangry as he glared at the man.
'It'sthat no one can tell you, that you are the Nine Tailed Fox. You arethe demon that killed Iruka's parents, and destroyed the village.'The man had a mad looking grin on his face as he said it. 'I'mafraid I can't let you go back and tell everyone what's happened. Youshouldn't mind much, everyone hates you anyway. Isn't it nice tofinally know the reason?'
Narutowas shaking, his fist was clenched. 'So, then your plan was to useme to steal that scroll, frame me for it, and kill me once you'vegotten it for yourself?' His voice wavered. It explained so muchabout his life, it was all so simple. He was trying to hide hisfeelings on the matter, and his features shook a bit.
'That'sright! What do you care anyway?' Mizuki moved to strike with hisweapon. 'No one will ever love you! This is why everyone hates you,let me end your pain!'
Hisface fell as he split a hunk of wood in half. 'Wha?'
'Yeah.That was kind of stupid, and in case you've not noticed yet, you'vebeen duped.' The boy smirked and crossed his arms as he walked outof the edge of the clearing. Then, another one of him, and another,and another. Dozens of Uzumaki Naruto were coming out of the edge ofthe wood. 'I'm not real happy about hearing that, but it doesn'tchange that this is my home.' He gave the man a rather angrylooking grin as he surrounded him on all sides. 'Maybe I don't caremuch for a lot of em, but I'll never become a ninja, or get theirrespect if I turn into a traitor like you!'
Theworst part of all for Mizuki, was that each clone was followed by oneof the shinobi from the village. 'What? You...'
TheHokage stepped forward and extended his hand, another large scrollwas hanging off his back. 'If you would be so kind Mizuki. I wouldlike my recipe for Chili Con Carne back. You'll find it's not veryvaluable.'
Narutonodded. 'Yeah. His Chili Con Carne stinks.'
Theold man's head whipped around to glare at the boy.
Theshaking and sweating Mizuki ripped open the scroll. 'Cheeze,paprika, chili powder, diced tomatoes, refried beans?' He fell tohis knees. 'You little...you...'
Theyoung shinobi smirked as his clones vanished. 'Well, you did geteveryone after me, so I just led them all here. I'm Uzumaki Naruto,and I'm going to be a great Ninja.'
Irukalooked over at the Hokage and smirked. The old man gave a smile. Theteacher called out to his student. 'Uzumaki, come over here,there's something I want to give you.'
Theboy walked up to his teacher and grinned. 'Sure.'
'Closeyour eyes.' Iruka had a cheerful grin.
Theboy was quiet, but nodded. He opened his eyes when prompted andsmiled.
'Congratulations,on graduating.' Iruka was missing his forehead protector, and itwas tied around Naruto's head.
Theboy looked over his shoulder. Mizuki was on his knees and being heldin place forcibly behind the Hokage. He looked enraged and horrified.'How? My plan was perfect!'
Theboy shook his head. 'I never fell for it you dope.' Well, he had,but he wasn't going to admit to it. 'I knew all along I couldn'ttrust you. You're just a traitor, and now you'll be punished.' Hepulled down his eyelid and stuck out his tongue.
Thosearound the field, most of them looked angry at Mizuki, but they weresilent and surprised about Naruto.
TheHokage coughed into his hand from beside the new graduate. 'I'll bewatching your career with great interest Uzumaki. Don't screw up,you've done well tonight, but I'm still watching you.' It was halfpraise, and half warning.
Irukasmiled and ruffled his hair a bit. 'I'll buy you some Ramen. Comeon.'
Theboy's face lit up, and he rushed off with his now former teacher.
OooOOooOO
Ryulooked over his shoulder at Ken. 'Wow. The kid has some sort ofdemon sealed inside him.'
Hiscompatriot looked pleased and they looked away from each other atnothing ahead of them. 'Cool. That information could prove usefullater.'
Bothmen were looking straight ahead and not at each other as they saidit. 'Yes. Good call my friend. Excellent.' Ryu stuck up his thumband winked still facing nothing.
Kenlooked at his partner. 'Still, that is pretty awesome.'
OooOOooOO
TBC...
NextTime: Team Seven.
Thanksto those who were kind enough to help me get a look at the first fewchapters of Naruto.